Thursday, 20 October 2016

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Update: Interceding for My Broken Marriage

The unnatural calm after the storm –

Maintaining the nest in the absence of your mate.

Several months ago I embarked on a mission to “stand” for my marriage versus moving on and building a new life. At the time it was difficult, my circumstances seemed impossible and the only option I had was to turn fully and completely to God.

I had to allow Him to open up the mantelpiece of my heart and unpack everything in it. Sifting through everything bit by bit until all the broken pieces were either restored, revamped or discarded. It was a difficult time because it wasn’t always pleasant having my character and motivation examined by Holy Spirit, but despite the discomfit it was an amazing time of growth in God.

However, although I ended up quite comfortable in my own skin while waiting for my prodigal to return and trusting God with the impossible, I soon understood that there were things I could do while waiting for God to perform my miracle and preparing my home for my husband’s return.

Filling the vacuum left by his departure.

The first thing was the vacuum created by my husbands “missing” presence and possessions. It was my natural inclination to fill up those empty spaces with everything and anything. However, I also realized that in filling up the gaps left by his possessions with my own things I wasn’t really leaving an “open invitation” to welcome his return. If he first had to remove my possessions from his wardrobe and bedside table it would not convey to him the true welcome of my heart…I wanted him to understand that his place at my side, his bedside table, his wardrobe and all his other “spaces” around the house would remain as they were until he returned to fill them with his possessions and presence again.

Get on with my life.

Waiting was one thing and depending on your point of view either very noble of very stupid. “Yup!!!! The jury was out on this one”. Some believed I should move on while others encouraged me to “stand”. There were also a few on the side-line waiting to see if I would succeed or fail. Would my marriage be restored or would I spend my time in vain waiting for a prodigal who never returns?

At this time I realised that whatever the future held one thing was absolutely certain. I also had a life and it had to go on. I couldn’t sit around just waiting. So I started to pick up hobbies I had set aside, contacted friends I hadn’t seen in a while and pressed into my bible study even deeper. The more I picked up my routine and my life, the happier I became. Yes. I missed my husband and I mourned for our marriage that had started with such high hopes, yet I also noticed that I was gradually healing to a point of being quite independent and functioning quite normally. Although I thought about my husband every day, I was no longer obsessed with what he was or wasn’t doing. I no longer worried about him meeting someone else or doing something irresponsible. I knew I had to simply get on with my own life, find my healing and my joy apart from him. (This mini-makeover had a dual positive effect that I only discovered later on).

a) I actually became quite happy and in my happiness became prettier and healthier without going on any specific diets.
b) When my husband returned he expected to find a whiney, clingy wife and was pleasantly surprised to find that I was no longer anything near the woman I had become when our marriage broke up.

Pressed on upwards and inwards.

I found my evening filled with bible study and prayer. I loved it. Loved delving into the scriptures and chewing on the stories and versus. I would spend hours doing bible study and hardly noticed that I was alone in the evenings. Father truly had become my “husband” keeping me company, comforting me and teaching me.

Joined support groups with “like minded” people who could empathise in my struggle, loneliness and pain. People who were walking the same road of “standing” as I was.

Standing for a husband or any other prodigal can be a very lonely business. For one thing, everyone else simply gets on with their own lives and loved ones and don’t have the same sense of loneliness and urgency you have to have your prodigal home.

Secondly, the prodigal spouse doesn’t really help much, as they are so blinded by the enemy that they move on at an alarmingly quick pace and don’t even look back in their pursuit of pleasure. This leaves you feeling even more alone and isolated.

Being a part of a support group that prays with you and empathises with you and who has members that you can support strengthens your resolve to be steady and to overcome. If not for your sake alone but for them also. The mutual support is incalculable.

Have you received an instruction from our Father to stand in the gap for someone?
Decide today to be obedient. He does not disappoint. There is no telling what your prayers will mean to your loved one. I am here to tell you that it is possible and that with Father at your side, guiding you, you can be an overcomer.

Join us on face book – Come encourage and find encouragement in a group of like-minded people with similar struggles and hopes.

*Hugs* till next time.