Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Changing of the (Guard) Season

Let your Children Go!!!

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the changing seasons in our lives. It could be because the season has literally changed here (South Africa) and we are all freezing…brrr or perhaps because I recently had my 50^th birthday. This birthday came and went without the usual fan fair and aplomb. In fact this birthday slipped in so quietly and largely unnoticed between all the other activities in my life that I hardly noticed.

Sometimes the changing seasons in our lives can catch us off guard, they arrive too early for our liking or simply arrive when life is happening and we take no time to notice. Other times we choose to ignore the changes as we prefer the season we are in “thank you very much” so we rather stay put.

Whatever the reason for our procrastination and resistance to change, the seasons are going to change and we have to make the necessary adjustments eventually.

One of the seasons in my life that caught me off guard was that of motherhood. My daughter was conceived while I was on the pill, so I had no idea what motherhood really meant. I wasn’t even trying to get pregnant and none of my friends at the time had children. After being thrust into the season of motherhood so unceremoniously, I had to quickly learn to sink or swim…Thankfully with many miss-starts we made it and it turned out to be the most magnificent season of my life to date…

The next season that caught me off guard was the season when my children were all grown up and starting their own lives. I admit that I had looked forward to the time of independence again, to do my own thing and yet when the time came I couldn’t quite remember “What my own thing was”…

Many women get stuck in the motherhood season and instead of discovering “What their own thing is” they choose instead to piggy back on their children’s lives, ostensibly to “help” them, but in truth they are merely just “interfering”.

While we certainly should be available to help and assist our children at all times we should always remember that

“Help that is not asked for is NOT help. 

It’s interference.”

While the idea of this blog was swirling around in my thoughts, I kept trying to understand what it is about the motherhood season that keeps some women trapped in it, even to go as far as to interfere with their children and grandchildren’s lives and I believe it has a lot to do with the protective nature of being a mom. We spend many years protecting our children from all kinds of real and potential threats that it becomes second nature. This “guarding” our children becomes so ingrained that we want to hang onto it. Who else will guard their backs and prevent bad things from happening to them?

The first thing to remember is that God is in control. 

If we have done our jobs well when our children were young they would know that :-

Proverbs 18:10 “God’s name is a place of protection—

good people can run there and be safe”. (The Message)

It’s time to change to guard…

Allow God to guide them and lead them as they explore adulthood and parenthood.

Pray for our children to make wise choices.

Ephesians 6:18  “Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, 

with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints 

(God’s consecrated people)”. (AMP)

Be ready to teach (when asked). Sooner or later someone will come 

and draw on your experience. It may be your own child or someone else’s child. 

Live in such a manner that you are approachable and have credibility when asked for advice.

Titus 2: 4 “They (older woman) are to give good counsel and be

teachers of what is right and noble, So that they will wisely train the

young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined)

and to love their husbands and their children,” (AMP) (emphasis my own)

Take the time to discover again “what your thing was /is”… 

God is not finished with you now that your children are grown up. 

Now is the time to rediscover that which is your thing. 

The desire in your heart. It’s God Given and when you embrace it, 

(however scary it may seem at the time), 

you will find that this new season in your life, is just as fulfilling as the one before.

So, if like me your children have left home, it’s time to change the guard, 

allow God  to be their God and protector and look instead into your own season 

for your fulfillment. They will make mistakes, you certainly did, but they will 

come to you for assistance if they want it. 

In the meantime there is still a call on your life…find it and run with it….

Your purpose has not changed …only your audience has.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Linking up with F. Dean Hackett at Tell it to me Tuesdays.

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Growing into the skin of the Proverbs 31 Woman!!!

Encouragement for young wives and mothers…

It is possible to be a Proverbs 31 Woman.

Like all dutiful wives and mothers, I have studied this woman for years (more than I care to admit to) and for the most part I felt like I could never measure up. 

Truthfully, I did not really like her much because, I just felt it’s impossible to be just like her or to come even close. I worked and slaved and adjusted my attitude and habits over and over again and still didn’t seem to be very successful. It seemed like I was getting nowhere…

After all is said and done this is a “Super Mom”, Super Wife”, Super Employer”, “Super Everything”

ALL……… THE……… TIME…

How is that possible?

From time to time, I was tempted to ignore this chapter in my bible, but it’s hard to ignore something that’s already memorized in your head, after years and years of practice. Besides it’s part of scripture so must be do-able…

God would not provide us with guidelines that He knew we could not attain or even reach…

So with time, experience and wisdom gained I learned the following things from this formidable woman.

I have learned that she did not do everything in exactly the same season, throughout her life. Her accomplishments were adjusted and changed as her life’s seasons changed.

(For example, as a young mother with young children in the home, I was compelled to produce healthy meals for growing kids while also producing Themed Cakes for birthday Parties; however as my children grew up into their teens and eventually adulthood, I no longer needed to produce Themed Birthday Cakes…The kids simply no longer wanted  or needed them)  

However, as my seasons changed; so too did my skill levels in other areas.

I learned that she delegated duties to her servants in order to get all the work done. I have also learned to look after my household appliances (modern day equivalent to servants); to keep them maintained and cleaned, so that as I clean house, do washing or prepare family meals these appliances work well and the work is done when it should be.

I have learned to ensure that my husband is rested in the evenings and ready to sit at his City Walls every day (Equivalent of his daily work); with clean clothing, and ready to undertake the tasks that he needs to do; without having to worry about whether the home is in order or not. I have learned to earn his confidence and trust in that I am in control of the home “affairs” so he can focus on his own affairs, while he is out for the day.

I have learned to manage our finances well and to prepare tasty and healthy meals without having to spend unnecessary money on all sorts of fancy accessories and expensive foods.

I have learned how to manage my laundry and look after the clothing we have in order to ensure that we are well dressed without having to purchase new clothes every single month.

I have learned how to be content with my home, my furniture and how to decorate and be creative within the home in order to have a welcoming comfortable sanctuary for family and friends alike.

HOWEVER:

None of these things happened at the same time. Every new skill and accomplishment came with work and patience and in its own season. As my seasons have changed, so too has my focus and attention to different experiences and skills.

I no longer feel the need to envy this formidable woman because with hindsight I can look back and see that with God’s help, the different seasons in my life and my own eagerness to be this woman, I have started to grow into her skin. The same will happen in your life as you press on.

There is one thing the Proverbs 31 woman managed to attain, that few other woman do…She had a husband and children that were observant and noticed her efforts. I think this verse in scripture is often overlooked while focusing on all this woman’s skills (and our lack of skills).

So if there are any husbands reading this please remember to notice when your wife is enthusiastic about her home and all the many chores she repetitively does every single day. Usually, when the home is functioning and running well the efforts of the wife will go unnoticed and be taken for granted.

Nothing motivates a woman more than when her efforts in the mundane chores of housework are noticed and appreciated.

Children do not notice the efforts mom puts into their daily care, but as they grow older and their seasons change, they too eventually realize the time and effort mom put into raising them and they then learn to appreciate her more.

So young mom and wife…relax…you will gradually grow into a Proverbs 31 Woman…

If your aim is to please God and look after your family enthusiastically and with all that you have…every season will train you with every skill you need.

Proverbs 31: 28 – 29 “Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”

I still have things to learn and seasons to pass through but I have learned that with all the new seasons comes all the new skills. I don’t need to force it or envy it in other woman.  

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

FEAR HAS A NAME!!! “ALZHEIMER'S”

Dedicated to my Mom…We will overcome this thing together!!! You and I, mom… with help from Our Father,

BECAUSE…God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of sound mind.

Fear is a verb, a thing, a monster, that stalks its prey…and pounces at any opportunity. It has a name 

…..Alzheimer’s…..

Imagine waking up every morning in a strange bed, in an unfamiliar room, with strange people around you and not remembering how you got there. Or where there is?

Worse yet!! Horror!! Not remembering who you are.

Imagine, repeatedly, going through drawers and handbags and cupboards, unpacking and repacking a life time of collected possessions, as if the repetition of unpacking these things will help you find your sense of self. Everything appears familiar, but also so very alien, confusing, unknown.

Imagine your brain being clogged up and fuzzy. Vague images of a life lived, filter through from time to time, but before you can truly grasp what you know you need to remember those images are gone again…lost in the hazy mist of forgetfulness.

Imagine, holding your tooth brush in your hands for hours and despite staring at it intently and trying very hard to focus, you just cannot remember what it is and what you are supposed to do with it.

Imagine trying to pray but not remembering the words…

Yes!!! fear is an ugly monster, but it will not prevail. 

We will overcome…together we will beat it back into the corner it came from, because our God lives…

He will guide us and Holy Spirit will comfort us…

He will reach you where none of us can and you need not be afraid because the only Fear you need to know if the Fear of The Lord…

I love you mom...

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

This little light of mine!!!

I’m going to let it shine!!!

Like most kids of my generation I grew up singing this song in Sunday School and like most kids I really didn’t get it. The words were easy enough and the tune very catchy; but the actual “meaning” was beyond what I could understand. Even as an adult I couldn’t quite grasp what it meant to shine.

Did it mean I had to be a “In Your Face” Bible bashing kind of Christian ???  But then how did that work ??? When on the other hand we were taught to be discreet and have respect for the opinions and feelings of other people ???

Very confusing for this girl.

Until one day while reading my bible, Holy Spirit directed

 me to look at my bedside lamp…

I noticed that the light shone where it could. There were many dark corners in the room where it did not shine and many obstructions in the lights path, but it didn’t attempt to go around corners to light up every single obscure corner.

In addition, instead of lighting around the obstacles it illuminated them, and threw huge shadows of the obstacles across the walls, making them appear even larger…

The light didn’t fret about dark areas it couldn’t reach and it didn’t fret because it was a 40 watt globe… instead of a 100 Watt Globe.

It shone for what it was worth, for as far as it could shine and for as long as it was permitted to be switched on.

The interesting thing was the darkness was never really gone…It was merely over shadowed by the light… As soon as I turned my bedside lamp off the darkness was back.

In my attempt to shine my light in this world I also wanted to throw my light in there, wade in waist deep and rescue refugees, the homeless and abandoned; but to my disappointment I am simply not called or able to go across the world and rescue these people. And even if I did where would I take them?…Clearly I am not a 100 watt bulb like the Mother Theresa’s and all those other brave people who are doing just that. (And I don’t say this lightly…some people are doing amazing things)

Not to be deterred by this, I decided to assist the homeless and poor closer to home. This was done with relish and joy, until I realised that there were just too many hungry, poor, helpless people. Too many to feed and clothe and all the work and effort in the world didn’t change the fact that I could only help a very few of them at a time…Clearly I wasn’t a 60 watt bulb either.

What then could I do?

I could be available to those people who are in my life, who cross paths with me daily at work and at home and even here on my blog space. I can shine and share God’s Joy with those people I can reach and not fret about those that I can’t reach. (Of course I can still pray for them and care about what happens to them). I can shine in my little area, on the strength given to me by God and I can shine for as long as I am permitted to shine, and as brightly as I can manage.

I will never be able to push the darkness away. It is always there in the back ground but I can illuminate the small area where I do have influence and allow my light to reach the areas that it should. Perhaps even as small 40 watt globe my light will illuminate the obstacles and evil in my world and make them larger than life, so that they can be exposed and removed.

A light is a light no matter how small or how dim…

So, sing with me…”This little light of mine. I’m going to let it shine….”

Do you like me often wonder what you can do to make the world a better place? And then feel overwhelmed when the needs out there are really more than you imagined or can manage.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Unfairness/ Indifference!!!

Bitter Pill to Swallow…

A spoon full of sugar compassion makes the medicine go down.

How many times have I heard my kids say “This is not fair” and how many times have I said to them “Life is not fair”…

AND YET

Despite knowing this, and having experienced unfairness myself, it is still a bitter pill to swallow, especially when it comes combined with another bitter pill called “Indifference”…

How bitter it is when you are not the guilty party and yet you are falsely accused, how bitter when you protest just to be told “so what?” maybe not in so many words, but in the attitude reflected towards you.

How much worse is it when the person that is unfair to you is the same person that you EXPECT to have your back and look out for you? The unfairness already feels like a knife plunged deep into your back, BUT the indifference feels like that same knife being twisted around and around…

Jesus also suffered a great deal of “’unfairness” and instead of lashing out at the people who were being unfair, He remained quiet or simply loved them in return. It totally amazes me. The self-control and restraint is a quality I would love to grow into my own character.

Instead, I have a left brain personality, rigid and unbending. What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong. This personality trait certainly assists me to organize my home and work, but does nothing to help me with relationships. I have to constantly remind myself that we are not all left brained, so there will be conflicts in approaches.

Having recently experienced unfairness directed towards me during the past few weeks, I have spent some time thinking about what my reaction should have been versus what it actually was, which was anger and retaliation. Seeking any way to vindicate myself… 

After all, if I don’t have a defender then I would just have to

 defend myself! Right?

Late one night while brooding about pondering these things, Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and reminded me that I am a broken person in a broken world and just as I am lashing out in pain, because of the unfair treatment, so do other people. Instead of being angry at the unfairness and at the person directing the unfairness towards me, I should look beyond the pain and anger and I will see that this person, just like me, is also broken… 

Their reaction is merely their defense; their indifference is merely a means to avoid “feeling”… Perhaps they are just too weary after years of conflict, or worry to plunge too deeply into a situation and prefer the avoidance of pain by being indifferent instead. Who knows what lays behind the brokenness of people.

Holy Spirit ministered to my heart and after a time I felt my resolve to be vindicated melting and in its place I felt genuine compassion towards this very person. I found myself earnestly praying for them. I felt at peace with my situation. It just didn't matter anymore.

I learnt that a little compassion goes a long way in swallowing the bitter pills of unfairness and indifference. Just remembering that we are broken people in a very broken world places all things in perspective.  

Will I react correctly the next time? And yes there will probably be a next time!...

I don’t know, but as I grow and learn I pray that when that time comes that Holy Spirit will open my eyes to what is real (broken person) , instead of what is perceived by me (indifferent, heartless person).

Thankfully, I am not alone in this struggle. Holy Spirit is ever near, ready to whisper to our hearts....

Do you like me struggle to get your character traits in a row? Perhaps you have already mastered self-control and restraint. Or perhaps just like me you have to relearn these lessons over and over again.

   *Hugs* till next time.

    Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

World!!!

Once upon a time…

Once upon a time there was a beautiful pond filled with the most beautiful of tiny colourful fishes and crabs, algae and water plants of every kind. This was a perfect water world and everyone who inhabited this world was well-fed and happy. With every new sun rise there was the promise of a glorious day to follow, full of adventure, freedom and new discoveries for all. Children and adults lived in harmony and stress was an unknown phenomena.

Everyone was aware that these blessings did not just happen. They knew that there was an invisible, yet ever present benefactor that ensured their well-being and they were grateful to Him.

Eventually with time, one of the smarter crabs decided to investigate the crevices in the rocks, their shapes and sizes, and wrote several “expert” books regarding these rocks. Another expert, Mr. Red Spotted Toad, (later known as Professor Anaxyrus Punctatus) also studied and wrote books on his area of expertise and so knowledge of their world became widespread. 

Experts of all sorts sprang up from all over, spouting wisdom and knowledge. All the kiddies now had to attend school on a daily basis to cram all this knowledge in their heads, or they would not be able to function as adults. How would they feed their families one day? There was so much to learn, so much to do…no time for fun…no time for life…

Stress began to creep unnoticed into the tiny water world, harmony was lost as “expert” opinion differed and created confusion among the inhabitants. With all their new found knowledge and intelligence, the thought of a Benefactor, providing for their needs, became more and more ridiculous to some and totally unimaginable to others…so gratitude and peace gave way to the struggle for survival and fear for the future.

However, within this water world there were still a few faithful. There were not many and they were certainly were not considered very smart in terms of current knowledge. They were just ordinary creatures of the water world, mostly ignored and overlooked or ridiculed by sophisticated society, daily providing food for their loved ones, and trusting in the Benefactor of Old.

The One who had provided this water world in the first place. The One who had provided for their ancestors. They clung to the old beliefs and were thankful to Him for their daily provision.

On an ordinary, one tiny fish was swimming around, foraging for food, enjoying the heart and light of the sunlight, as he swam, when he felt himself being swooped out of the water….

Up, up, up, he went until he was no longer in the water. Panicked he looked around, trying to understand what had happened. The world was suddenly brighter and warmer than he had ever experienced.

When his eyes adjusted he looked and saw the most amazing things. There were no words. His imagination and everything he had ever heard had not prepared him for what his eyes saw. The most amazing green meadows, dotted with millions of flowers, dressed in hues of beautiful assorted colours, for as far as the eye could see.

Huge trees of every size colour and shape lined the horizon like sentinels, the bluest of skies covered the whole area, a blanket of blue, tucking in this beauty safely at every horizon. Creature’s with wings were flying around, going about their daily business, hardly aware of his presence, some tweeting, some chirping….

He did not know what he was looking at, but he knew that no one…not even his own family would believe what he had seen.

Yet he also knew that his Benefactor, had revealed to him the real world beyond their tiny world, had shown him that all the knowledge of their tiny world was actually quite useless, in light of what really existed. That the so called experts knew only a tiny fraction of what there was to know.

And so although he had never seen the Benefactor, and had only felt his touch, he had been shown things he had no words to describe to anyone. He was not smart or special in his world. In fact he was hardly noticed, but he knew that His benefactor lived and was the provider of all things good. He spent the rest of his life telling people what he had seen, always remembering that despite all the knowledge and wisdom there was to be found…There was more, much more on the other side of the world he lived in.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Modern Day Samaritan Woman

The Gift…

OF SECOND CHANCES!!!!

How beautiful and wonderful to live and serve the God of new beginnings…of second chances…and how desperately do I need these second chances…I have been given so many blessed gifts from above, but this Gift of Grace is my most used up Gift, but thankfully it’s the Gift that keeps on Giving…I will never use it all up…

Blessed Assurance!!!

Every day I start my day planning to be graceful, loving and an awesome godly woman of note, oozing with grace and mercy as I go, a total blessing to all, only to start failing immediately the minute I step out of bed…I become impatient with my loved ones and pets, as we rush to get out of the house and to work for the day.

I expect everyone to adhere to the script, be like soldiers, ready, organised, and on time and when they are not, I become impatient as the clock ticks and time moves on. 

Huge Fail!!!

The traffic doesn’t help and by the time I reach work my coffee needs a coffee…and I have already blown all of “my godliness”. 

Another Huge Fail!!!

and it isn’t even 08:00 am yet.

Life is hard and no one gets it perfectly right the first time, so how glorious and graceful and wonderful it is that I get to say to our Father in Heaven…

”Give me a Second Chance”….

And when I calculate all my second chances…all 16, 600 and counting I am thankful of this Gift…

Given freely to me every day…