Modern Day Samaritan Woman

Changing of the (Guard) Season

Let your Children Go!!!

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the changing seasons in our lives. It could be because the season has literally changed here (South Africa) and we are all freezing…brrr or perhaps because I recently had my 50^th birthday. This birthday came and went without the usual fan fair and aplomb. In fact this birthday slipped in so quietly and largely unnoticed between all the other activities in my life that I hardly noticed.

Sometimes the changing seasons in our lives can catch us off guard, they arrive too early for our liking or simply arrive when life is happening and we take no time to notice. Other times we choose to ignore the changes as we prefer the season we are in “thank you very much” so we rather stay put.

Whatever the reason for our procrastination and resistance to change, the seasons are going to change and we have to make the necessary adjustments eventually.

One of the seasons in my life that caught me off guard was that of motherhood. My daughter was conceived while I was on the pill, so I had no idea what motherhood really meant. I wasn’t even trying to get pregnant and none of my friends at the time had children. After being thrust into the season of motherhood so unceremoniously, I had to quickly learn to sink or swim…Thankfully with many miss-starts we made it and it turned out to be the most magnificent season of my life to date…

The next season that caught me off guard was the season when my children were all grown up and starting their own lives. I admit that I had looked forward to the time of independence again, to do my own thing and yet when the time came I couldn’t quite remember “What my own thing was”…

Many women get stuck in the motherhood season and instead of discovering “What their own thing is” they choose instead to piggy back on their children’s lives, ostensibly to “help” them, but in truth they are merely just “interfering”.

While we certainly should be available to help and assist our children at all times we should always remember that

“Help that is not asked for is NOT help. 

It’s interference.”

While the idea of this blog was swirling around in my thoughts, I kept trying to understand what it is about the motherhood season that keeps some women trapped in it, even to go as far as to interfere with their children and grandchildren’s lives and I believe it has a lot to do with the protective nature of being a mom. We spend many years protecting our children from all kinds of real and potential threats that it becomes second nature. This “guarding” our children becomes so ingrained that we want to hang onto it. Who else will guard their backs and prevent bad things from happening to them?

The first thing to remember is that God is in control. 

If we have done our jobs well when our children were young they would know that :-

Proverbs 18:10 “God’s name is a place of protection—

good people can run there and be safe”. (The Message)

It’s time to change to guard…

Allow God to guide them and lead them as they explore adulthood and parenthood.

Pray for our children to make wise choices.

Ephesians 6:18  “Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, 

with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints 

(God’s consecrated people)”. (AMP)

Be ready to teach (when asked). Sooner or later someone will come 

and draw on your experience. It may be your own child or someone else’s child. 

Live in such a manner that you are approachable and have credibility when asked for advice.

Titus 2: 4 “They (older woman) are to give good counsel and be

teachers of what is right and noble, So that they will wisely train the

young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined)

and to love their husbands and their children,” (AMP) (emphasis my own)

Take the time to discover again “what your thing was /is”… 

God is not finished with you now that your children are grown up. 

Now is the time to rediscover that which is your thing. 

The desire in your heart. It’s God Given and when you embrace it, 

(however scary it may seem at the time), 

you will find that this new season in your life, is just as fulfilling as the one before.

So, if like me your children have left home, it’s time to change the guard, 

allow God  to be their God and protector and look instead into your own season 

for your fulfillment. They will make mistakes, you certainly did, but they will 

come to you for assistance if they want it. 

In the meantime there is still a call on your life…find it and run with it….

Your purpose has not changed …only your audience has.

*Hugs* till next time.

Ariéte

Linking up with F. Dean Hackett at Tell it to me Tuesdays.